Wednesday, August 18, 2010
However, I have the day off from work, so I moved on to my "commissioned" piece ... without the same enthusiasm. What is it with commissioned pieces??? I'm having SUCH a difficult time of making this piece come together! I much prefer to work "from my heart," hoping an unknown soul will appreciate it, rather than having 'predetermined expectations." God, help me..and this piece! This is the "very rough sketch" provided to the commissioner...
Here are the two blocks I've worked on today ... that I am TOTALLY unhappy with, and embarrassed to share, :(
Why am I sooo critical of myself??? So, I break away to do the MUCH dreaded thing of calling my father ... thinking "okay, perhaps this is what is holding me back," ... and so I just picked up the phone and dialed. Shew ~~ what a risk.
However, now that the conversation is over, one in which I'm sure he thought, "OMG, she's sharing SOOO much so quickly, I can't possibly get a word in edge wise," perhaps that is what was suppose to happen. I'm thrilled to say that it went REALLY well (on my behalf), and I'm feeling much better about life, in general, and this relationship, ... and sadly thinking, "if he dies tomorrow, well at least I called him today." He IS 75-years-old, and in fairly good health, but whom knows what tomorrow holds, right? And, THANKFULLY, there wasn't that "well, I want to see you" moment in the conversation. I'm simply not ready to see him; he's hurt me terribly in recent years, as in the past, and I'm truly not ready to open myself up to that hurt, again. But I can handle a phone call, from time to time ... for now.
K, so this is "Life And Art With Jeanne" for today! Hope someone, somehow, can find some inspiration here. In the interim, Happy Living And Creating ... To Each Of You! May your life be filled with blessings and creative inspiration!
Posted by Jeanne Nelson at 8/18/2010 03:06:00 PM