However, I have the day off from work, so I moved on to my "commissioned" piece ... without the same enthusiasm. What is it with commissioned pieces??? I'm having SUCH a difficult time of making this piece come together! I much prefer to work "from my heart," hoping an unknown soul will appreciate it, rather than having 'predetermined expectations." God, help me..and this piece! This is the "very rough sketch" provided to the commissioner...
Here are the two blocks I've worked on today ... that I am TOTALLY unhappy with, and embarrassed to share, :(
Why am I sooo critical of myself??? So, I break away to do the MUCH dreaded thing of calling my father ... thinking "okay, perhaps this is what is holding me back," ... and so I just picked up the phone and dialed. Shew ~~ what a risk.
However, now that the conversation is over, one in which I'm sure he thought, "OMG, she's sharing SOOO much so quickly, I can't possibly get a word in edge wise," perhaps that is what was suppose to happen. I'm thrilled to say that it went REALLY well (on my behalf), and I'm feeling much better about life, in general, and this relationship, ... and sadly thinking, "if he dies tomorrow, well at least I called him today." He IS 75-years-old, and in fairly good health, but whom knows what tomorrow holds, right? And, THANKFULLY, there wasn't that "well, I want to see you" moment in the conversation. I'm simply not ready to see him; he's hurt me terribly in recent years, as in the past, and I'm truly not ready to open myself up to that hurt, again. But I can handle a phone call, from time to time ... for now.
K, so this is "Life And Art With Jeanne" for today! Hope someone, somehow, can find some inspiration here. In the interim, Happy Living And Creating ... To Each Of You! May your life be filled with blessings and creative inspiration!
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Good for you for calling your Dad Jeanne!! Wheeeew, that's a load off right, at least for the time being(O: I am the same way with commissions because it's something you "have" to do. I think it's like that with most artists. I really think your off to a great start here, I love the turtle and the fish!!!!!! Keep going you'll get through!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you had a huge relief when you called your Dad...good for you.....
ReplyDeleteIs it possible that the commission creates a fear because you are getting paid and have to produce a piece that someone must like......it would for me.....You're off to a good start so don't listen to those voices in your head and move ahead telling yourself you can do this and do it well.....I have confidence in you.....
I live in Winston Salem....where in the piedmont are you?
Hugs
Yes, don't be so hard on yourself--it IS coming along. But I know that we can ALL relate to this--you're kind of being told how to create your art so it's not really your creation (in a way) I like to make art for someone out there who hasn't found my piece yet, but knows that it's theirs when they see it for the first time--I like that. Am I making sense to you? :)
ReplyDeleteAnd excellent that you called your father---it makes your life so much happier when you do something that has been bothering you, no matter what the outcome is.
Hi hon,
ReplyDeleteI feel the same way about commissions...I finally started saying no when people would want a pendant with specific artwork in it. It's just too stressful and time consuming and sucks my creativity dry! And that's very brave of you to call your father....more stuff we have in common girl! Hang in there, you will have this piece done in no time!
C
Pretty stuff! I love what you have done today!!!!
ReplyDelete